I've spent a good deal of time brooding over the past couple of weeks about not being employed, being far from anything or anyone familiar, and feeling lost in a big empty to do list that's only filled with things like, "wipe kitchen counters" or "go on long walk alone." Although I am not often profound, or at least not vocal about being profound, I found a great wisdom in the words of Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat Pray Love. In an attempt to prove that I'm a good wife, and a contributor to my marriage I've lost the ability to perceive my life for what it is. I have been blessed with the opportunity to be in a beautiful country, and do absolutely nothing. I have had no appointments, no assignments, no deadlines. I simply wake up each morning and do whatever interests me. I cannot reasonably foresee that there will be more moments like this in my life, and now I am grateful, for nothing.
"In the end, I've come to believe in something I call "The Physics of the Quest." A force in nature governed by laws as real as the laws of gravity. The rule of Quest Physics goes something like this: If you're brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting, which can be anything from your house to bitter, old resentments, and set out on a truth-seeking journey, either externally or internally, and if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue and if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher and if you are prepared, most of all, to face and forgive some very difficult realities about yourself, then the truth will not be withheld from you."
"So the holy truth of the whole adventure here in India, is in one line: "God dwells within you...as you." God's not interested in watching a performance of how a spiritual person looks and behaves. The quiet girl who glides silently through the place with a gentle, ethereal smile...who is that person? It's Ingrid Bergman in "The Bells of St. Mary's" – not me. God dwells within me...as me."
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